How to Choose an IEP Advocate for Preschool & Elementary School
You went into an IEP meeting hoping it would make things clear, but you’ve come out even more confused. Maybe you’re more than confused– you’re upset. Is the team’s offer reasonable? Is it time to hire an advocate? If so, how the heck are you going find one? And then choose one?
The choice matters. After all, your advocate is going to be representing you and advocating for your child. And the stakes are high! This is your kid’s education on the line. You need to feel comfortable with their approach.
Where to Find an IEP Advocate
Ask other parents (most reliable method!)
Personal referrals give you insight into how an advocate actually performs—not just what they claim on their website. Join local parent support groups or ask around in school communities to see if anyone has had a positive experience.
Check in with local organizations
Many advocacy organizations provide referrals or maintain directories of IEP advocates. In the Bay Area, you might turn to the following:
Stanford ESPA (Education & Special Programs Advocacy)
Parents Helping Parents (PHP)
Local Facebook Groups focused on IEPs and special education support
Even if you’re outside the Bay Area or in a different state, there are likely local organizations who maintain lists of qualified advocates.
Consult clinical psychologists, evaluators, and other professionals
If your child has undergone private evaluations, ask their psychologist or developmental specialist if they can recommend an advocate. Many professionals work closely with advocates and can point you to someone with relevant experience.
How to choose the right advocate
Once you have a few candidates, consider the following factors to determine who is the best fit for your family:
Familiarity with your school district
Each district has its own policies, culture, and approach to special education. An advocate who has experience with your school district will understand the specific challenges and strengths of working within that system.
Experience in your child’s age group and with similar cases
Preschool and elementary-age children have unique needs, and IEPs at this stage differ significantly from those for older students. Choose an advocate who regularly works with children in your child’s age range.
Does the advocate have experience with children who have similar diagnoses or needs? For example, if your child has autism, ADHD, or a specific learning disability, an advocate who has successfully supported families in similar situations will be better equipped to help.
A personality that feels like a fit
This is a big one. Your advocate will be speaking on your behalf in meetings with school staff, so you need to feel confident in their approach. Consider:
Do they listen to you and take your concerns seriously?
Are they assertive but respectful?
Do they communicate in a way that makes you feel heard and empowered?
Some advocates will have a take-no-prisoners approach. Others will be gentle, perhaps too gentle. And others will be personable, yet firm.
Cares about long-term relationships
You want a positive relationship with the people who will be working with your child. No matter the situation, you don’t want an advocate to make things more contentious and worsen that relationship. A good advocate fights for your child’s needs while also maintaining a productive relationship with the school. Look for someone who is firm, yet personable, who will be able to keep discussions focused on solutions and what’s best for your child.
Sees each child as one of a kind
Every child is unique, and their IEP should reflect their individual strengths and challenges. Be wary of advocates who take a one-size-fits-all approach, suggesting services or drawing conclusions based on diagnosis rather than individualized assessments and evaluations. Instead, find someone who truly listens and tailors their strategies to your child's specific needs..
Trainings and qualifications (or lack thereof)
Unlike lawyers who go through law school and have to pass the bar, there’s no universal certification or licensing for IEP advocates. Technically, anyone can be an advocate—including you! If you have a friend or family member who you trust and believe would be a strong voice in meetings, they can absolutely step into that role.
That said, some advocates pursue additional training, such as the Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates (COPAA) training, which provides education on special education law, procedural safeguards, and best advocacy practices. While COPAA training is a great credential, remember that an advocate’s effectiveness comes down to experience, strategy, and communication—not just a certificate.
Payment structure & affordability
IEP advocates cost money and their services aren’t covered by insurance. Don’t let this intimidate you– you can likely find an advocate who fits your budget. Here are some common structures you might see:
Hourly Rate: Many advocates charge by the hour, which can be a good option if you only need help reviewing documents or attending a single meeting.
Flat-Fee Packages: Some offer set packages for specific services, like document reviews, meeting attendance, or ongoing support. These can be more cost-effective if you need multiple services.
Retainer-Based Support: If your child’s case is complex or ongoing, some advocates offer a retainer model where you pay a set amount upfront for a certain number of hours or services over time.
If you’re mostly confident navigating the IEP process but need help for a specific meeting, a single consultation might be enough. But if you’re new to advocacy, struggle to speak up in meetings, or feel lost and frustrated, you might benefit from ongoing support.
Remember: you are the best advocate for your child. If hiring an advocate is not in the budget, then you can read up on Special Education law, talk to other parents, and effectively advocate on your own.
Don’t ignore your gut…
Choosing the right advocate requires a combination of research, recommendations, and gut instinct. Take the time to interview potential advocates and ask for references to make sure you feel comfortable. The right advocate will not only support your child but also support you as a parent in the IEP process.
The suggestions and tips provided in this resource are for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal advice. They are not exhaustive. I am an advocate, not an attorney.
